The Transition.

So much has happened I do not know where to begin. First though who ever is reading this, know that I am going to be an open book, so basically you are going to see all of my true colors and I am not going to hold back, so that is your warning.

I basically just disappeared from home...I didnt really tell many people I was going to be leaving. The reason for that is that I dont feel super close to many people at home. My best friend Nicole and her entire family I am very close to, but for the most part I feel like there are a lot of surface or artificial relationships simply because we are in the same place at the same time. I am almost desperate for a friendship that is more than that. Nicole is really the only lasting meaningful relationship I have had...seems like in other states I can't find that. I want someone to be honest with me, to tell me how it really is. Not put on the fake smile, tell me the hurtful truth sometimes. I need to be pushed, to be questioned...

Being here in Springfield I have met a lot of people who I would like to make that part of my life, and I would like to invest that time and effort in as well...but I guess I am just waiting for it to get to that depth.

My best friend is in Spain, and I am so excited for her!! I wish so bad I was there with her...but I guess God had a different agenda for me.

God has been amazing through everything that has happened. There has been a lot of times where I have been frustrated with Him and felt alone, but it only lasts a moment. He has made Him self known in every area of my life. He has really laid the book of Esther on my heart lately...God is my King and I feel like hes saying I will give you half of my Kingdom...is it selfish if i want the Nations...is that more than half? That is my favorite worship song tho...I want my family to be safe, secure, and healthy...i want God to rejuvinate them, to show up and bless them, and I want the nations!! I dont know how He is going to use me...and that is hard for me...i feel discouraged like I dont know what I am working towards...but i have built up anticipation and I know He will let me know when I am ready!

Lastly, I am sure if you are reading this at all, and you know me, you are like woah Brooke has a boyfriend? So yes, I have a boyfriend. He will be coming to Wisconsin pretty soon with me (cant tell you when because I am keeping it a secret from Whitney so it can be a surprise!!) It has been a total God thing how everything has worked out. I am very comfortable in thi srealtionship and also excited to say its going in the right direction! It is nice to have someone challenge you spiritually and also be in a relationship where God is the Mediator. It all seems fast and almost too much to take in all at once, but Caleb has been such a blessing, and an amazing friend also. I have a pretty good feeling about this one. Can't wait for all you guys to meet him!