Lately I have been thinking...What does a good relationship look like...I have had a near perfect relationship modeled to me by my parents. I would kill to have what they have...but if i had what they have, it wouldn't be my relationship, wouldn't be customized. I myself have never experienced a healthy, deep, relationship, so this is something I have been thinking about.
Sometimes I struggle with the thought that I will never succeed in a good healthy relationship, because the devil has really messed me up with some bad relationships, most don't know that though because I do not open up and explain details or experiences I have had. Sometimes the devil tries to tell me I don't deserve it. Trust is the hardest thing for me...i can easily trust someone with my life, but I struggle trusting..its not just a struggle, its near impossible for me to trust someone with my emotions and with my heart.
Now you have heard the kinda down part...but this is me declaring victory. For every note I wrote saying I would never trust again, or let my walls down for anyone, SCREW YOU! lol (that kinda feels good to say). God has made me new, and God set me up for success! Every day I wake up and have to decide if I am going to let someone in or not, "God did not make us to be alone"....God has restored me, and I feel like he is really convicting me of living a life of fear. So, here is the deal, God is gonna be my strength, and even though my past made me who I am today, It will not dictate my present or my future, because I let it dictate too much of my life already, and it wears me out worrying and fearing so much. So I am shaking it off. I am going to trust like my trust has never been broken.
That was my random rampage, but I guess I have been really wondering what a healthy relationship includes, I have a lot of ideas, and have been learning a lot of what one looks like, but I want peoples input and ideas (especially you Mommy Hansen!! lol)
SO I AM ASKING FOR YOUR COMMENTS!!
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A healthy relationship, eh? Hmmm...well, first let me say that I think it is very healthy that you WANT a healthy relationship. That you have figured out that there is, indeed, a difference. I often see relationships around me that do not seem very healthy and the people involved appear oblivious to that fact.
ReplyDeleteI think you can look to your parents' example of a healthy relationship without being a carbon copy of them. Truly healthy relationships often have many common factors, but are completely unique - in and of themselves. For example, Perry and I have a healthy relationship but I'm sure it looks much different than that of your parents because we are very different people. It is the threads of respect, admiration, sense-of-humor, commitment, etc. that are more than like the common factor in both relationships. So, you are wise to look for those common elements that will constitute every healthy relationship.
Worry and fear are very tiresome burdens and God does not desire for His children to lug them around. yet, I'm afraid it's our nature to have to relinquish them daily as Satan is always just around the corner waiting to trip us up. Keep reminding yourself that you DO have the victory - and can live in that victory - as you lay those burdens down every day.
I believe healthy relationships are continual works in progress...just as it is imperative that we take care of our bodies every day to be healthy (exercise, eat right, take vitamins), we must take care and nurture our relationships too. Healthy relationships take WORK - they are an investment and don't just "happen". Also, healthy relationships require two healthy people. An emotionally healthy person will struggle a great deal in trying to establish a relationship with someone else who isn't also laying their baggage at the foot of the cross. It is important to remember that we can't do that FOR anyone either - they have to do it for themselves. Only God can "fix" a person, we do not have that power and would make ourselves crazy trying.
I believe two people who nurture their relationship with the Lord - with all their heart, soul, and mind, have the best chance at accomplishing a genuine healthy relationship...it is a gift from God, never to be taken for granted ;)